Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
