the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
