Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is Oprah even human
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
