haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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