do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
