found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
