My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
no you cant smoke seaweed
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
