If i come over, it means nothing
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
