it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
