So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
