You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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