Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
