Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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