he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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