I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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