I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize