i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
They have beer where we have blood.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
