At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
