I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
