I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
