I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
