Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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