Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
