Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
