We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
