He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
