THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
