AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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