your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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