doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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