This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
