For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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