Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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