i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
we're so committed to being not committed
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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