Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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