I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
