My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
