do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize