Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
