i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
