very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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