I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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