Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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