dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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