shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
