is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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