I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
