I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
