she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
