On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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