Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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