I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
