i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize