Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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