is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
