I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
