yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The Olympian is in my bed
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
