Sry I called you an 8
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
