i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
