who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
