The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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