google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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