Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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