worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
